Sunday, January 09, 2005

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are

After a fruitless day spent shopping downtown Montreal I have come to the rather sad conclusion that I am neither thinner, cuter, swanker, nor more charming in Montreal than I was in Vancouver. In fact, I downright fade in to the background here. Just another girl with salt stained boots trudging aimless among the stylish throngs. Sigh. All I ended up taking home were a pair of pants and a shirt I had rejected in Vancouver in hopes of finding something cooler here. Well, there's a lot of cooler stuff here, but it's all for the skinny pretty girls too. Those bastards. On the upside, if I ever shrink enough to benefit from it, there is an Urban Outfitters here, which is better than porn. And we all know how much I like porn. Their smallest sizes look like doll clothes, but they have a great shirt that says " I like getting it on with boys who vote", which to me screams Salazar.

The French are tricky bastards. I spent a good half hour doing the Rainman up and down the same block looking for an R W and Co. that was supposed to be at 625 St. Catherine's East. But there were no stores, no mall, nothing retail at all. Just a big ol' cathedral hogging up the whole block. I was about to quit and head for the adjacent Metro entrance when I noticed a sign for the Cathedrale Promenade and an arrow pointing down. The frigging mall is hidden Bat Cave styles under the church. Finally, a use for a church I can get down with! Not that the store, when I finally found it, had the coat I was looking for, but whatev's.

After the church/mall fiasco I decided to screw the whole depressing shopping thing and went to see Million Dollar Baby. Did not help with the cheering up - great movie, but HEAVY - but I was amused by the fact that not only does the 5 floor theatre complex have a bar, but that bar has a happy hour with $3 domestic beers and shooters. How killer is that? The freakin, Famous Players has cheaper drinks than the diviest bar in Vancouver. And yes, Quebec audiences are just as annoying with the loud talking and chewing as back home. I really wish you could get headphones at the theatre for the hearing impaired. I would so wear them to block out the annoying people noise.

Oh, I encountered a crazy French stereotype today. I actually saw a thin man in a long black overcoat and black beret, smoking a cigarette and doing the evil cartoon " MWEE HEEE HEE" villian laugh. Very creepy.

I had more to blog/whine about but Donnie Darko is on so enough of this.

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