Thursday, January 20, 2005

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Kitty Scorned

Alternate title: Melissa And The Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day(s)

You see those stories on the news about old couples cornered in their bathrooms by a raging demonic cat, I believe I even saw one where the man died, but I for one have always been sceptical. How much terror can 8 - 13 lbs. of fur really impart? Well, I learned a little lesson in feline behavior last night, and I think it's fair to say I will never underestimate the power of a territorial cat again.

My cat Griffin and I have been staying at with friends for almost 2 weeks. In that time, their much smaller, much quieter, much less social cat Maya has been at with of their parents. Yesterday Maya came home. To say she was unenthused about another cat in the premesis is a larger understatement than saying George W. Bush ain't too good with the words. She went absolutely ape shit, attacking Griffin, my feet (and eventually making a flying attempt at my torso/face) and the boys if we came within 10 feet of her. Obviously I locked Griffin in 1 room, but that didn't calm her. Around 1:30 am she had us cornered, me in the bathroom, JP in the kitchen, Jay in the bed, all of us afraid to move, Maya in the middle. It took 2 boys, 2 blankets and several pairs of mittens to corral her in to her carrier, where she spent the night. There was no way any of us were going to risk spending time with her on the loose while she was freaked out about Griffin being here, so this morning I had to find somewhere to board him for a few days until I figure things out. The only place I could find was a vets office, where he was immediately subjected to the indignity of an anal thermometer, so you can imagine how great I feel about that. All this on top of the fact that I had quite possibly the worst work day on record yesterday and had already spent a good part of the day crying. I know, insert violin solo here.

I sucked it up and went to work after dropping Griffin at the vet. I had to wait a long time at the Metro station for my connecting bus, and was approached by the man standing next to me. Anyone who has ever heard the stories about the crazies that are drawn to me can probably guess the content of the following conversation:

Him: Excuse me, do you speaking English?
Me: Um, yes.
Him: Where do you live?
Me: I'm staying with friends.
Him: So you don't live alone?
Me: No. (at this point I am thinking, oh crap, here we go again. And there was no one else around. Not so comfortable)
Him: Oh, I have just moved here from Syria. I am an engineer.
Me (trying to act uninterested): Oh....
Him (getting uncomfortable close): I would like to be make you my friends.
Me: Ahhhhhh......
Him: What do you think?
Me: I'm pretty goood for friends now, thanks.
Him: What are you say?
Me: (silent, looking for bus, trying to think of an out)
Him: I could love you and kiss you and maybe after a few months make us get married.
Me (flashing back to a VERY similar conversation with a security guard who wanted to take me back to India and give me gold, but I had to go to his trailer under the bridge first) : I don't think my (note: fake) boyfriend would like that very much.
Him: Oh. I want to meet a woman here, it is very different that in Syria, I think both ways is bad. Here is bad, Syria is bad. In Syria if I want to take a girl out, her brother of father comes. Here, you can take a girl to her apartment and be alone.
Me: Good luck with that.

For the next 5 minutes he droned on about the difference in dating practices in Syria, how crappy our additive laden oil is, how lush and fresh Syria is, all of which would have been sort of interesting if I hadn't been A) sort of creeped out and B) Fricking freezing. So I damn near jumped in front of a passing cab and paid $7 to get to work, rather that risking sharing a seat on the bus with my new would-be-boyfriend. As you can imagine, I was a less than happy camper when I got to work, and I had to endure sever rounds of, "Cat went crazy? Never heard that one!" from co-workers who thought I was just being a baby and didn't want to come in after my craptastic day before.

I need a hug.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

rotfl (that is rolling on the floor laughing for those uninitiated in geek)

girl, I do not know how you find these winners, or more accurately how they find you. but hey, it's good for a story right?

hope things have warmed up a bit...

Related Posts with Thumbnails