Monday, January 31, 2005

James, This is for You.

If I had known that my loyal readers were waiting with baited breath for a posting I would have sucked it up and found my way to a computer sooner. I don't have a computer at home right now as I have moved, so I am at Jay's using his for reasons that I will disclose in a moment. Before I get in to all the 'drama' I'll get to the good news, which is that I got 3 amazing hours with our Sally on Saturday, which, yes, included the requisite pool-game-in-a-sketch-pool-hall, which of course she whipped my butt at. I *heart* Sally!

So things here are not very good. Specifically, things at work are not very good. In fact horrible. In a nutshell, all the "don't worry, I'll take care of it" promises of helping with moving and settling in expenses have been reneged. Like "Melissa, I'm not in the moving business. I'm not a mover." Ummm...well, part of asking someone to move across the country for a job involves moving expenses. And I tried to get it in writing, but didn't want to push too much and offend him, what with us being family. Obviously a fat mistake on my part, but I'll take that as a learning experience and take a CYA more insistant approach in the future.

What I can not take is going in to work every day to be berated, belittled, constantly condescended to and expected to compromise my professional and personal integrity. On a daily basis. All of which is followed up by being mocked and sneered at when I have a perfectly natural emotional respose. It's not just me being all fragile either, I have not been there one day that there hasn't been someone in tears. My boss is like an abusive boyfriend that courts you with gifts and promises of a beautiful future and suddenly starts kicking the shit out of you without explanation. It would suck in a normal situation, it extra sucks coming from a family member. Particularly one who gave a big speech at our reunion about the importance of family. Not that expect special treatment, just to be treated with a modicum of respect. I
don't think it's appropriate to go in to details here, but I'll give them to you personally.

I was going to try to suck it up until I found something else, but it is out of control and I won't subject myself to it anymore. What, because I'm family I should put up with this? Am I supposed to say "Thanks for the opportunity!" and touch my toes while I'm getting f@*ked? I can't and won't do it. I've put up with a lot of shit from a lot of people in the interest of not rocking the boat, but I did not leave everyone I know and love and relocate across the country to have my self worth smashed 45 hrs. a week. Note to future employers and cousins:

If you think you can have my diginity and self respect for the price of a budget one way flight and shipping a few boxes, you are wrong.

So the reason I have computer access right now to blog this is that I am at Jay's using his computer to write my letter of resignation. Which is hard. I am waffling between a Nixon style "I hearby resign as President" (but replace President with Whipping Girl) and a wordy explanation like the one contained herein. Not that it would matter. I don't expect my final words to be heard any more that the last 3 weeks worth.

I'm not quite ready to hit my parents up for a ticket home. I am going to try to give Montreal a shot, I can't let this one bad experience taint the whole place for me. There has to be something here for a non-bilingual girl. If anyone knows of anything I would appreciate a heads up.

That's about the size of it. Sorry it's taken so long to post, it's been a hellacious week. On a "get over yourself Mel, the whole frigging world is not about you" note, I just talked to my Dad and my stepmom is quite ill, and as I am so far away I am feeling really worried and powerless, so any of you that are inclined to such things as prayer, sending out good thoughts etc., a little energy in her direction would be much appreciated.

Ok, no more procrastinating. I have a letter to write.


Anonymous said...

Oh great the depressing post has to be just for me.

Tell your cousin I'm coming to kick his ass.

Melissa said...

Sorry James, I should have made up something fun.

If you want to kick my cousins ass, you're going to have to line up behind my Granny. You know those old school British chicks, they don't take no man's crap!

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