A week later, to the day, I started a working in a residency of sorts with a visiting artist who was taking part in an exhibition at the AGGV. Way beyond my experience and skill level, but I seem to have a horseshoe up my ass, and somehow I was given this opportunity. It was amazing and challenging and eye-opening ... and needless to say I was a barely-functioning wreck. Honestly, I couldn't tell you much about it, because it's mostly a big blur of Don't. Lose. Your. Shit. I lost my shit a lot anyways.
It ended, I tied to get back into the work / school swing. Mostly I just wanted to sleep for a really long time. I was getting nothing accomplished in class, other than stressing about how little I was capable of doing, and honestly couldn't have given less of a shit about work.
My cat got sick, and it cost $640 to find out he was really constipated. Under normal circumstances this would be funny.
That little adventure, the kitty colon expedition ... well, it turned out to be the last nail in the freak-out coffin.
It sort of broke my heart to do it, but since quitting my job wasn't an option and I clearly needed to take a massive load off I withdrew from my classes. Oh, and then the next day I bailed down the back stairs, and was in back agony (bagony) for about a week, so photo class assignments would have been kiboshed anyways.
I mention all this because, well, it fucking sucked, but also because a few people I've mentioned it to have given me the 'ohhh...so you quit' face/voice. And it's funny, because for me, it was a victory of sorts. I put a huge amount of pressure on myself to perform (when it's something I care about). This is a girl who argues 90% grades, because there is ten.whole.percent.I.could. do.better. I push and push and try and, well, I have some pretty destructive ways of dealing with stress. So before I got a tattoo I couldn't afford or started scratching an old itch with a razor blade I thought maybe it was time to take a load off. Yes, it'll put me behind in the learning schedule, but when you find yourself thinking this ...
It's not that I want to die, I just want a nice, long break from life.
... well, you priority-up.
Anyhow, 2009 had an unkind start. I tried to improve my mood with music. This was one of mixes that got me through. It's Podcasted, so if you are already subscribed hit refresh. If not, in iTunes go to Advanced, Subscribe to Podcast, and paste in this: http://shes-so-melicious.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
Photo links to PDF that fold to the right size for a CD insert.
Get it Together, Gignac - Track List
1. The Shining - Badly Drawn Boy
2. In the Road - Weeping Tile (but they've been defunct almost as long as my virtue, so check out Sarah Harmer too)
3. Pills - The Perishers
4. Love is Like a Bottle of Gin - The Magnetic Fields
5. Start A War - The National
6. The Season - The Dodos
7. Red - Elbow
8. For Agent 13 - The Besnard Lakes
9. A Lack Of Color - Death Cab For Cutie
10. I Will Call You Lover Again - Loney, Dear
11. Fidelity - Regina Spektor
12. Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips
13. Calendar Girl - Stars
14. Of Montreal - The Stills
15. Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
16. Biko - Bloc Party
17. Triumphant - Royksopp
18. He Doesn't Know Why - Fleet Foxes
19. We're Just Friends - Wilco
And just for shits'n'giggles, a little background on each of the tracks.
1. I saw Damon Gough play at the Vogue about 1,000,000 years ago. He bitched a lot about how he'd been playing so many shows that his fingers were bleeding, which, as a musician I'd pretty much consider an occupational hazard, but whatever; he plays pretty music, so I forgive him. I sort of forgot about Badly Drawn Boy for a few years (despite multiple About a Boy viewings), but he's experiencing an apartment #3 resurgence of sorts.
2. She calls early in the morning about money that I might have spent. It's a classic case of I don't know where it went. Anyone that knew me at 20 (when I was in Kingston and fell in love with this then-local band) knows why this song would have struck a chord. Anyone who knows me at 32 will get why I grimace at how it still resonates.
3. I worked at a record label in the management division a few years ago. They signed this band that made pretty music, but had horrible press photos. Now they have generically ok press photos, the singer hooked up with a former co-worker (luuuuucky), and I haven't heard anything they've done since this album. But I fucking love this song. It's so simple, and pretty, and true. I defy you to tell me you don't have a past (well, hopefully past) relationship it could be applied to.
4. It's very small and made of glass and grossly over-advertised ... uh, yeah, true that. Two truths. 1) I'm in love with the idea of love. 2) I'm in love with the reality of gin. Oh, third truth ... Stephen Merritt only wears brown. Saving time sartorially probably frees up time to write, what, 100 songs a day? Dude is prolific, just sayin'...
5. I loaned The Boxer to a friend recently. He returned it with the comment that (and I'm paraphrasing here) everything he hated about Crash Test Dummies is what he loves about The National. Deep voices done right. Songs that make me want to hug my friends. I say goddamn ...
6. This is one of many reasons that I am bummed to miss Samsquantch this year. Damn you $640 vet bill for feline constipation, and also damn you chronic-yet-still-undiagnosed colon issue that makes travel suck! (Me, not the cat.) And for which I have a GI appointment the day I'd leave for Sasquatch. Damn you (Alanis Morisette definition of) irony!
7. Can someone please explain to me why Coldplay is so friggin' famous, and hardly anyone knows Elbow? Chris Martin has (apparently) said that Fix You (the only palatable Coldplay sing since A Rush of Blood to the Head, and even then, only when I have my period) is a rip of Grace Under Pressure. Plus, Elbow was in 9 Songs. Which has some great live concert footage ... if you can get past all the normal looking people fucking. Seriously, the IMDB keywords for this movie include voice-over narration, female to male foot in crotch , black panties and Antarctica. That's got to be worth your $2 down at Pic-a-Flic, right?
8. What's with all the fantastic husband/wife teams coming out of Montreal, anyways? Tabernac! I should have stuck it out there ....
9. All the girls in every girlie magazine can't make me feel any less alone ... Nor the porn on xtube, nor the one night stands I'm not having. PS, remember before The OC? Before frat boys liked Death Cab... sigh ....
10. You know what? Forget Montreal. What's with Sweden upping the ante? Hey Per! You started a trend. Of Swedish awesome. Plus, they have cool punctuation.
11. I just realized this is a heavily dude dominated mix. Hey Regina, thanks for pillaging my mind grapes and making it a hit song. I hear in my mind all these voices, I hear in my mind all these words, I hear in my mind all this music, And it breaks my heart ... um, yeah, sort of the story of my life.
12. The first in a trifecta of songs that talks about death. Wonder what's been on my mind (grapes). Also, Wayne Coyne is sexy, writes songs I'd like to wake to having murmured in my ear, and has a big ball.
13. This song was big for me when I was floundering in Montreal, and it still is. It used to be more about all of the things that I thought were so easy just got harder and harder each day, but lately I'm more feeling I can't live forever,I can't always breath, One day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea. PS. That would be fine. Or go all John Prine, whatever. Just, please, don't bury me, down in the cold cold ground.
14. May 9th at Sugar is the place to be if you are in to Andy Samburg looking fellows, with Arafat scarves tied over their mouths, talking about the Gaza Strip. Oh, and also, rocking.
15. Hi, my name is Sufjan Stevens. I'm the most attractive man born in 1975, play upwards of 26 instruments and am writing a full-length album for each state. How's your life coming along?
16. Hey! Look! A song about cancer! What a surprise. Seriously though ... Kele and the boys have soundtracked a few vulnerable moments (see: Kruezberg and SXRT, for starters), but oh my god, this song ... I'm fucking crying. Fuck. If I could eat your cancer, I would. Indeed.
17. Because after that I need a hug. Thanks, Royksopp.
18. So then you shake it off, and throw on some Fleet Foxes. Sub Pop still has mojo.
19. The other story of my life. Not just that I have a terminal case of just-a-friend, but also the whole make some coffee, hold me up, try to talk me out of giving up. Hmmm... yeah I can think of a few friends who've filled that job description over the years.
Ok, that's all.
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2 comments:
so great. listening to new podcast now.
Me like. And again I knew like one artist. And that would be Regina... so thanks for introducing me to some new stuff :)
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