Monday, April 25, 2005

Awww....Those Crazy Christians.

I saw Sin City yesterday. And last night I dreamt of horrid yellow horny goblins. Gahhhh...I am so much better with hyper-realistic violence and gore than the Sin City variety, it's too close to what happens in my head, and far too creepy. As it's been a while since I visited the good people at christiananswers.net, I thought I'd pop by to see what they had to say about this little gem of a film.

For those not in the know, christiananswers.net is a site I found on my friend Beau's site, it has all sorts of helpful advice on dating, lifestyle etc. (more on that later) but it also has a kick ass movie section where you can see how films rate on a Christian scale. Kirk Cameron movies tend to do well, Tarintino, not so well. Check it out at:

http://christiananswers.net/spotlight/home.html

Some Sin City Excerpts:

"This movie is not Evil, it's a wake up call, that a good christian soldier would be proud to respond to, not by attacking the film, but by purifying the world so that the film no longer exemplifies reality."

"Anyone who complains about the violence misses the fact that this is a modern morality tale, much akin to the way "Double Indemity" was. Bad guys are punished. Those who help bad guys, aka "Becky" or "Cardinal Roak" are punished as well. Sacrifice is a very prominent theme amidst a city populated with self-centered individuals. It is so over-stylized to emphasize the incredible choices they are making and how much trouble they are willing to get themselves into for others."

"Watch at your own risk, but be warned; your mind and soul will pay the price."

Personally, I think they're reading a bit much in to it, but whatever floats your boat.

ChristianAnswers also has really helpful advice on other topics, such as:
Depression:
"Some cases of depression may be caused by chemical imbalances. If that is the cause, then antidepressant drugs may be the answer. God has allowed mankind to learn about many medical tools, and He sometimes uses medicine to heal."
Ummm....well that's a relief. The Prozac won't send me to hell. Funny how different the vibe on medical tools to end unwanted pregnancy is.

Masturbation:
"Sex was clearly meant for two people--that is why masturbation goes against God's purpose for sexuality."
Dammit! And hello, what about mutual masturbation? Hmmmm??? That's between 2 (or more!) people.
"Masturbation is almost always a symptom of a deeper need. What is motivating you to masturbation? Are you lonely? Are you depressed? Are you afraid to date? (Are you not spending time getting to know the students in a good youth group?)"
Ummmm...no...just horny. Honest.

I know I'll probably go to hell for this post (but not the Prozac!), but really. It's just too good to not poke fun at.

Don't even get me started on the new disposible Pope.

4 comments:

signed - "a hell reservation holder" said...

Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket Mel! Advice from Christians??!!!

You know it's only a matter of time before we start getting junk email that reads "Jesus saves...with on-line pharmaceutical drugs!"

"Depressed that the Lord is not answering your prayers (ie: sex and lots of it)? guilty of excessive masterbation? losing yourself in movies full of gratuitous sex & violence and bad acting? Then Prozac for Jesus is for You (miserable sinner). One pill a day shaped in the image of our Lord Jesus Christ will take care of all your concerns (ie: fuck you up so much you have no clue why you feel so bad in the first place). Amen and pass the wine.

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